Sayo Àlàgbe
A trained historian and lecturer at the Department of History, Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) Ogbomoso, Mr. Sunday Ogunkuade, has advised young people seeking meaningful and lasting relationships to be honest with themselves about their intentions and take the time to understand their partners beyond surface-level interactions.
Mr. Ogunkuade gave the advice during a live-streamed radio programme, Monday Potpourri, Tiwantiwa, aired yesterday evening on Ajilete 92.1 FM, Gambari, near Ogbomoso. The programme is sponsored by the Ogbomoso First Group.
“Real love isn’t found, it’s built,” he emphasized, urging youths not to settle for half-hearted attention and to focus on building emotional depth rather than chasing fleeting attractions.
Addressing the topic, “The Difference Between Love, Lust, and Lies in Today’s Dating Culture”, Mr. Ogunkuade explained that love is an emotional connection rooted in commitment and long-term bonding, while lust is driven by physical attraction and is usually short-lived. Lies, he noted, emerge when individuals are dishonest about their intentions, often to manipulate others or avoid responsibility.
On why many modern relationships seem to start with lust instead of love, Ogunkuade blamed the influence of social media, dating apps, and fast-paced lifestyles. He said these platforms promote instant gratification and prioritize physical attraction over emotional compatibility.
He also noted that technology has significantly contributed to dishonesty in modern dating. “With the anonymity offered by the digital space, it’s easy to create fake personas, conceal true intentions, and maintain multiple relationships. Behaviours such as ghosting, catfishing, and breadcrumbing have become prevalent,” he added.
Despite these challenges, the historian observed that many people still crave genuine connections. However, he said the search for authentic love has become more difficult due to widespread distrust, past heartbreaks, and the fear of vulnerability in an increasingly transactional world.
Responding to a question on whether lust is necessarily a bad thing in relationships, Ogunkuade clarified that lust in itself is not harmful. “Lust can be a powerful spark that brings two people together. The problem arises when it is mistaken for love or when a relationship is based solely on physical attraction without emotional compatibility,” he said.
On whether the trend of love, lust, and lies can ever fade away, Mr. Ogunkuade stated that while the trend may not completely disappear, it can evolve. He expressed hope that with increased emotional intelligence, better relationship education, and more open communication, individuals can make more intentional and fulfilling dating choices.
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