By Femi Emmanuel.
In recent years, Nigeria has witnessed a disturbing surge in cases of marital violence, a social menace gradually eroding the sanctity of the home — an institution once regarded as the foundation of peace, love, and mutual understanding. What should be a union ordained for companionship and growth has, for many, turned into a battlefield where trivial disagreements too often end in tragedy.
It is quite unfortunate that many legally married couples now allow minor domestic disagreements — matters that could be amicably resolved — to degenerate into violent confrontations. Marriage, by its divine and social design, accommodates differences, as no two individuals are entirely alike. Yet, instead of handling conflicts with patience, tolerance, and understanding, some couples resort to aggression, leading to physical harm and, in worst cases, the loss of life.
Experts and social observers argue that disagreements are inevitable in any union. However, such conflicts should be approached with emotional intelligence and maturity, not hostility. If more couples practiced patience and empathy, our society would not be recording alarming cases of domestic abuse and marital homicide.
Marriage Should Be a Haven, Not a Battlefield
Marriage ought to be viewed as a correctional space, where partners help each other grow and improve. The essence of companionship is learning, forgiving, and adapting. No one enters marriage as a perfect partner; every relationship is a work in progress. Husbands and wives must, therefore, cultivate the habit of mutual tolerance and emotional restraint, recognizing that every home faces challenges. The true measure of a strong marriage lies in the couple’s ability to resolve issues without violence.
Disagreement, rather than being a threat, can actually serve as a bond that strengthens marital relationships — provided it is addressed with humility and love. Every individual comes from a different background, with unique values and temperaments. Understanding this simple truth is vital in fostering peace at home. For newlyweds especially, the early stages of marriage should be seen as a period of adjustment, where both partners learn to accommodate one another’s flaws.
The Role of Families and Society
Family members, religious institutions, and community leaders also have a crucial role to play in curbing marital violence. When disputes arise, timely intervention and genuine counseling can help prevent escalation. However, not all disagreements can be resolved through mediation. In cases where reconciliation efforts by friends, relatives, or religious leaders fail, divorce — though undesirable — remains a lawful and safer alternative to violence or murder.
The Nigerian Constitution provides legal avenues for separation or divorce when a marriage becomes irreparably broken. Resorting to the courts, rather than taking the law into one’s own hands, can save lives and prevent families from being destroyed.
Building a Culture of Peace in Homes
As cases of spousal assault and domestic killings continue to dominate headlines, it is imperative for Nigerians to rethink their approach to conflict resolution within marriage. Society must begin to promote values such as dialogue, forgiveness, and patience, while discouraging toxic masculinity, pride, and aggression that often fuel domestic crises.
Ultimately, a peaceful home is built on the twin pillars of tolerance and endurance. Without these virtues, marriage becomes a fragile bond prone to collapse at the slightest misunderstanding. Every couple must, therefore, make a conscious effort to embrace peace — for the sake of their families and for the stability of society at large.
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